I’m getting super down/angry at myself bc I didn’t go to farm last night because of all my mental BS and I miss my friends that I only ever see at events, the next ones in November and like. why did I have to get like this, why won’t the bad vibes go away. why can’t I exercise any self control, why am I so reliant on everyone else. why do I demand time and effort. why am I such a general shit.

it’s just horrible. I’m just horrible.