so I had to go to hospital this morning bc I had a total meltdown and they sent me home w a temporary Valium dose increase and I’m on basically outpatient suicide watch

so like depending on tomorrow I may be getting check in calls every 24 hours and my parents are secondary contacts

my dad had to stop me getting in the car before work today and doing smth stupid and obv I couldn’t go to work either so I’ve lost a days pay and that isn’t helping matters

I’ve had to take all sharp objects out of my room down to nail clippers and all my belts are in the bathroom bc the hospital told them that they had to make sure I did that

I’m like I didn’t even attempt but ok whatever take half my shit outta my room if that’s what they wanna do

but yeah today was a fuckin wild ride I had to do like 3 blood pressure and temperature tests and a full physical and one doctor was like “one day it’ll be basically gone it’ll be so well managed you’ll forget you’re even bipolar” and I’m like buddy you are wrong but whatever

I’ve hit the point past uncontrollable crying where I’m just numb and shaky tbh and I slept for 8 hours once we got back from the hospital and I’m still so fucking tired idek